CAPTAIN's REPORT

The first event has come and gone and it is the Anglo's with a decisive early lead...

Demps scores in Barcelona!

The reason Bill cant score!

The delegated Captains report.

The Wyder Boy Cup - Spanish tour, 2002.

Thursday 11 April, seven highly tuned Wyder Boy athletes arrive at Barcelona airport to mass media interest and screaming female fans. Unfortunately only six sets of clubs make the trip. One set unfortunately redirected to Ireland due to the non-removal of a previous flight ticket.

Dempster, knowing the Spanish grand prix is only weeks away decides to test the Ford Mondeo and the capability of the Spanish police force and heads off to Sitges at over 180km/h. Later it was revealed that Mr Dempster had heard of the reputation of the resort and was keen to get some action.

Thursday night, Sitges beach resort, a relatively quiet affair with only mild disruption to the local population. Unfortunately if you happened to be a table then you were in for a torrid time as Mad Brian McCue took out all his pre match tension on a series of coffee, bar and pool tables.

Friday April 12. Overcast with sunny spells and onshore breeze. Order of the day was to find the Club de Golf, Terramar and also to pick up the Anglo star player, Mr Murry Howison and the small matter of finding Mad Bri's golf clubs. Muz, the final highly tuned Wyder Boy athlete arrived at Barcelona airport to mass media interest and screaming male fans. All goes well and Dempster manages to break the all-time speed record between Sitges and Barcelona on both trips.

After a day of sitting about the club house watching golfers come and go in their short sleves and shorts, as the cruicial Wyder Boy tee times approach a series of ominous dark clouds form and threaten to dampen the spirits and the golf course.

The first group off: Dempster & McCue (Anglo) vs Rickett's & Quigley (Scotland) with Dempster vs Quigley and McCue vs Rickett in the individual pairings. The first group managed to get through two holes before the sky opened up and conditions became very testing. Even with Dempster banning McCue from the cart driving duties they managed to bugger up reverse before finishing the first hole! Requiring a quick trip back to the clubhouse and a new buggy.

The Second group off: Stubbs & Howison (Anglo) vs MacKenzie and Edgecombe (Scotland) with Stubbs vs Edgecombe and Howison vs MacKenzie in the individual pairings. A much more skilled and professional group with MacKenzie and Edgecombe in confident moods due to 3 hours of practise before teeing off. Unfortunately as the group approached the first tee the heavens opened up and started what was a testing and wet round for the whole group. Mackenzie and Edgecombe were soon to regret their extensive pre game practise with both of them only just managing to make it past the women's tee, both through lucky bounces on the concrete path! Howison and Stubbs placed their shots perfectly on the fairway in what was to be the story of the day. Stubbs and Howison put on a majestic display even with Howison turning a dark blue colour from the early stages of hypothermia.

Results: Dempster beat Quigley and McCue halved with Rickett. Anglo team win. Stubbs beat Edgecombe and Howison beat MacKenzie with another Anglo team win. Points after the first days play, Anglo's 5.5, Scots 0.5.

After hot showers and a deserved pint, the two teams embarked on the 45 minute journey to Girona. 3 hours later, and 11pm at night, they make it into the sea side resort and find suitable digs on the foreshore. 8 steaks later the boys are once again ready to explore the town, with the Anglo captain putting on an unprecedented display of going to his bed early. The Scot's captain in contrast was the last to bed although he was heard to say "if it's wet tomorrow I'm not playing golf!" - it is up to the reader to decide which team captain displayed the most gayness!!

Saturday April 14, a glorious morning. With the PGA Golf de Catalunya (check out the web site at http://www.pgacatalunya.com/castella/indexesp.htm and relive the experience) awaiting it was only a matter of getting Mad Bri and Muz out of bed and the crucial second day could begin.

What an amazing course!

The first group off: Stubbs and McCue (Anglo) vs Quigley and Edgecombe (Scotland). Stubbs and Quigley entered into another epic struggle with Quigley racing to a 4 hole lead and Stubbs reeling him back in to being 1 down at the last. After a text book drive and a majestic 2nd, all Quigley had to do was get his chip near the hole and victory would be his. Unfortunately, the massive pressure got to him and a miss hit chip landed him in the bunker. This was the opening Stubbs needed and he holed his par put and the match finished all square. The other pairing was a more one sided affair, although Edgecombe had some early shocks when 36+ handicap McCue was smashing near perfect drives and approach shots to the greens. Edgey though was making up for a poor performance the day before and displayed a more consistent game and fought off the early challenge to wrap the game up with holes to spare. McCue, always the team player, played a crucial role in establishing an Anglo team win.

The second group off: Dempster and Howison (Anglo) vs MacKenzie and Rickett (Scotland). The captains challenge once again proved to be a titanic struggle between the worlds most revered golfing talent. Dempster was 4 up with 4 to play but crumbled under the pressure and needed a good final hole to complete the win. MacKenzie, gutted from his second loss of the weekend, was hopeful that his display would help a Scotland team win. The second pairing was a more one-sided affair. Howison had used up all his best shots the day before and Rickett's was on fire, hitting every par 3 in regulation that would ensure winning the par 3 challenge for the weekend. Howison's display was so terrible that he declared his hate of golf and decided to skip the afternoon stableford challenge.

Results: Stubbs halved with Quigley and McCue lost to Edgecombe. Anglo team win. Rickett beat Howison and Dempster beat MacKenzie with the first Scotland team win of 2002. Points after the second days play, Anglo's 8, Scots 4.

With the official Wyder golf out of the way, and a bit of lunch (where we discovered that the Spanish call Parma ham "Salad") the Wyder boys were given another chance to beat the PGA course with the Individual stableford competition. Mad Bri and Muz decided not to take their option up and instead went for a "kip" in one of the cars.

First on the tee were the two MVP's of the weekend (each with 2.5 points), Mr Stubbs and Mr Dempster. Mr MacKenzie was also there to make up the numbers. Stubbs and Dempster once again took to the course with style and skill and were quickly building up sizeable scores. The highlight of Mr MacKenzie's round was hitting an exploding golfball on the par 5 15th. Stubbs and Dempster came to the final tee tied on stableford points. After a text book drive, with Stubbs in the light rough, all Dempster had to do was get his second near the green and victory would be his. Unfortunately, the massive pressure got to him and a hooked 5 iron landed him in the long rough on the side of the hill behind a massive tree. This was the opening Stubbs needed and he holed his par putt to finish on 30 points. Dempster finshed with 29 points. Mr MacKenzie had a nice walk around the course with his trusty six iron for company and finished with 15 points.

The second group, after a wee argument with the course officials and lacking any golf buggies until the 3rd hole, all started badly. From this writers view point they all seemed to be playing quite well but unfortunately other than a late burst by Edgecombe, the scoring was rather pathetic. Edgey finished with 28 points.

The winner with 30 points was Mr Stubbs, who generously (stupidly) donated the 120 euros to the drinks kitty although is sure it was really used by Mr MacKenzie to by a Barcelona top, Barcelona pen and presents for his relatives.

GOLF OVER

With the golf over it was time to head into Barcelona to find accommodation and to paint the town red. Mr MacKenzie was given the task of driving the lead car and after some serious near misses with a ditch was leading the convoy to Barcelona, armed with the trusty directions "go down a bit, turn left and it will be easy to find a hotel".

2-3 hours of stressful driving later and bugger-all hotels visited the Wyder Boys decide on the 5 star luxury of the Barcelona Meridian. Mad Bri and Muz organised a "special" price which turned out to be almost identical to the standard price but with extra for car parking. 15 minutes later all of the Wyder Boys were in the lobby ready and eager to "do" Barcelona. 20 minutes after that Mad Bri and Muz show themselves and it's off to get some food and check out some bars. Tapas were deemed too small and Pizza becomes the focus and what fabulous pizzas they were! By the time dinner was finished it was after 2am so it was down to the water front for salsa dancing and mingling with the locals. 30 minutes later, and discovering that the locals aren't very friendly (except for one black "girl" but she wanted payment for being friendly) and it was off again, back to the hotel for final drinks.

Sunday April 15, another overcast day. Mr Edgecombe was up early and off back to the airport having completed his first Wyder tour of duty. Mr Edgecombe showed excellent form and was the second top Scottish point scorer for the weekend with 1 point (behind Mr Cambridge - the other dubious Scottish ring-in).

With the key to the city, the Wyder boys were treated to a tour of the city from the top of a specially prepared open top bus. As the team neared the Barcelona stadium (an area full of bars), the Scottish Captain made the decision that "There are no bars here, lets get off at the next stop". Unfortunately, the next stop was a slow 2 mile drive away from the stadium down a bar lined street! Still, the boys hadn't walked very far during the weekend and we keen to retrace their steps for the uphill walk back to the stadium and a choice of bars.

Many pints and some fantastic Tapas later and it was time to see FC Barcelona vs D.Alaves at the fantastic 100,000 capacity stadium. For security reasons the Wyder boys were given seats all round the stadium to prevent the total annihilation of the team in the event of a fire or bombing (or Muz just fu*ked up). While the pace was slow the skills were on show and 5 goals later, 3-2 to Barcelona, the boys were ready to hit the town again.

A quick bar hop and some Tapas and it was time to find a safe haven for the boys (or an Irish Bar). Unfortunately the unofficial MVP of the weekend had to leave at this point and can only report on the rest of the evening through hear-say and gossip. From what little information given (mainly due to the state everyone was in the next day) the night went something like this: Irish pub, vodka redbull, vodka redbull, vodka redbull, vodka redbull, vodka redbull, vodka redbull, vodka redbull, vodka redbull, vodka redbull, vodka redbull, vodka redbull, vodka redbull, vodka redbull, vodka redbull, vodka redbull, vodka redbull, vodka redbull, vodka redbull, vodka redbull, gin & tonic, gin & tonic, gin & tonic, gin & tonic, gin & tonic, gin & tonic, gin & tonic, gin & tonic, gin & tonic, gin & tonic, gin & tonic, gin & tonic, gin & tonic, gin & tonic, gin & tonic, gin & tonic, Balieys and Drambuy, Balieys and Drambuy, Balieys and Drambuy, Balieys and Drambuy, Balieys and Drambuy, Balieys and Drambuy, Balieys and Drambuy, Balieys and Drambuy, Balieys and Drambuy, Balieys and Drambuy, Balieys and Drambuy, Balieys and Drambuy, Balieys and Drambuy, Balieys and Drambuy, Balieys and Drambuy, Balieys and Drambuy, Balieys and Drambuy, Balieys and Drambuy, Balieys and Drambuy, Balieys and Drambuy, Balieys and Drambuy, Balieys and Drambuy, Balieys and Drambuy, watching some golf, stumbling about, and getting ejected at about 2am.

Mr Dempster lost the ability to walk upon entering the 5 star accommodation and had to be carried to his room by security guards. Mr MacKenzie upon entering the room decided he didn't like the layout of the bathroom and decided to rearrange it. Mr Dempster instead decided to paint his.

The next morning and Johnny Cambridge had to get to the airport for an early flight and was driven by Mr Stubbs and Mr Quigley. At the 5 Star accommodation a decision needed to be made as to who out of Bill and Demps was most capable of driving. The answer was neither of them so Bill drove.

The full team managed to catch their flights and all players and baggage managed to arrive at the correct destinations without any further problems.

A fantastic weekend was organised by Mr Dempster and Mr Mackenzie and the best team came away with the early lead.

Mr Mackenzie wanted to add that he was the last to bed every night and this was the reason for his extremely poor total of 0.5 points and not the fact that he cant play golf for shite.

We await the challenge of Glorious Goodwood…

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